Around the World Intro ... RailTrak Outline  ... Itinerary ... Ticket Stubs  ... Maps: All ... Markered 1st Half ... Markered 2nd Half

Thirty-three(33) postcars were mailed with five (5) not being received, a 15% failure rate on the part of the Post Office.

  1. 070422 Schenectady, NY
  2. 070428 Reno, NV
  3. 070504 Little Rock, AR
  4. 070529 Cincinnati, OH
  5. 070426 Atlanta, GA

Day 1 0700410 Miles 873
Chicago
Where's Bob?
Day 2 070411
Day 3 070412 Miles 2205
Albuquerque
Looking broad mesas and high buttes of New Mexico made me think this card a propos.
Day 4 070413 Miles 4072
Hollywood ... Los Angeles
The stars out here pail in comparison to the full moons back home.
Day 5
Day 6 070415 Miles 5513
Vancouver
Gee Whiz? Looks like you all were up here before me and posed for a picture.
Day 7 070416 Miles 6253
Jasper
Damn! Can't get a tan on a train to be a chocolate man!
Day 8 070417 Miles 6973
Winnipeg
For you gals: Too many guys, too little time.
Day 9 070418 Miles 8393
Toronto
B-4 U get your rail legs you wobble like a drunken. Back on terra firma, the land seems to sway like a minor earthquake.
Day 10 070419 Miles 8893
Montreal
T'is colder here, and the cold stare of the little fella makes me want to leave soon. Like you, he has my number but he will not laff at my bad jokes. He'll just bury me like any other nut.
Day 11 070420 Miles 9063
Montreal
Montreal is a chicken and egg joke: Which came first? Cold weather or cold people? I've met more cold-shouldered people in Montreal than in all of Canada.
Day 12 070421 Miles 9712
Gaspe
Gaspe will make you gasp. Ocean, surf, mountains, cliffs, deer, moose and tranquility.
Day 13 070422 Schenectady, NY (post card not received)
Day 14 070423 Miles 11183
Chicago
Hustle and bustle, people going by in a tussel.

Where did all the crowds in Richmond go?

To the sidewalks of Chica go!

Day 15 070415 Miles 12256
Washington, DC
I thought I had a monopoly on bad jokes till I came here. I am an amateur.
Day 16 070525 Miles 13420
Miami
Miami: Sunrise, Sunset, South Beach is hard to beat. Never forget the first time I saw a deformed person lying on the beach--"Bob, not polite to stare" I said as I quickly averted my eyes. At the 3rd deformity I realized that it was a topless beach of ladies lying on their backs.
Day 17 070426 Miles, Amtrak Map Magic-Markered, 1st Half

My highly functional geek vest and bush hat often prompts, "Hey, Crocodile Dundee" to which I respond, "No, crack a joke yankee." geekvest Hat
Day 18 070427 Miles 15756
Chicago
What do Chicagoans and Amtrakers have in common?

Chicago: Vote early and vote often

Amtrak: Be late early and be late often

Day 18 070427 Miles 16794
Denver
Ride a rocking passenger train to:
  1. Walk like a drunken sailer.
  2. Write like a practicing dentist.
  3. Both of the above.
Day 19 070428 Reno (Postcard not received) What happens in Las Vegas, stays in Las Vegas.

What begins elsewhere ends in Reno.

Day 20 070429 Miles 18023
San Francisco
Heard too often on a train and elsewhere:
You know what I mean?

What I think but do not express:

No, failure on your part to get an education does not constitute a responsibility on my part to think for you.

Day 21
Day 22 070501 Miles 18846
Oregon
"When I first saw you, I thought you would be a problem," said the conductor. "But after watching you for five minutes, I realized you were eccentric as hell!"
Day 23 070502 Miles 19,999
Middle of Nowhere
"Middle of Nowhere" Widing the wells weminds me of my severe childhood speech impediment when, like "R"-missing Elmer Fudd, I said the little wed wabbit went wunning acwoss the wellwoad twack. Early on I learned to say woman's pocketbook instead of woman's purse.
Day 24 070503 Miles 20928
Chicago
Wanting to be more than an absentee husband with bad jokes, I decided to be Cathy's alarm clock by calling at 4:59am, a minute earlier than her ding-ding. What did she say?  "Bob, thx, but it's Sunday morning."
Day 25 070504 Little Rock, Arkansas Universal Remote Dog Trainer: Most men are born dogs. Whether we go to a dog show or a dog pound depends on how well you gals housebreak us. Good luck! bob (Bill Clinton Special Card)
Day 26
Day 27 070506 Miles 22408
San Antonio
And, what are these young lasses, who are divorcees, singing in the land of the Alamo where Texas independence was fought?

Remember the alimony.

Day 27 070506 Miles 22483
New Orleans
'Riding on the City of New Orleans. Illinois Central Railroad #9" is as far as I got before being threatened with ejection if I kept singing.
Day 28 Atlanta (Card not mailed back) Nice Car. Atlanta
Day 29 070508 Miles 24096
Boston
At first I thot these people liked punishing words with puns ... like me. Then I realized they just had accents ... like me.
Day 29 070508 Miles 23865
New York City
New York is a city that never sleeps except for a tired traveler who is beginning to long for the end. But tomorrow will be a new joyful day.
Day 30 070409 Miles 24512
Baltimore, Breakfast
Tick, tick, tick.

After Baltimore, no more days, just hours away to home to stay.

Day 30 070409 Miles 24814
Lancaster, Lunch
Anyone who thinks the Amish are somber and straight-laced need only look at the double-entendres of this post card.
Day 30 070509 Miles 24606
Philidelphia, Coffee
Sometimes a joke is not appropriate.
Day 30 070510 Miles 25058
Richmond, VA
That's all folks.
Day 17 070426 Miles, Amtrak Map Magic-Markered, 1st Half

Day 17 070510 Miles, Amtrak Map Magic-Markered, 2nd Half

Combined Map of both halves