| To whom it may concern:
I have been encouraged to make a psych appointment by my primary physcian, Dr. Abru??, because I had expressed to him that I had recently found myself increasingly depressed. The truth is not that I am depressed--self-unhappiness. Rather, I am increasingly saddened--emphathetic unhappiness for others--by the political and economic events beyond your control which you cannot change. My life has been one of great luck and catalyzed opportunities, a life far better than ever expected as a child, adolescent or teenager. My homelife is not the source of my sadness, for I have a wonderful wife and house, both of which are complimented upon by others. This past weekend a group of people were rotating in taking pictures from the street of themselves, my garden and Shinto Gate. If I am depressed, it is because I am failing at completing a lifelong project based on an intellectual concept and its applications. Buttressing this lifelong focus are my resume, 1982 article, 1992 newspaper ad, 1998 Campaign and Clements letter. How many people do you know who completed the undergraduate requirements at a real university in two years, cum laude? Ace'd 24 hours of credit in one grading period? Completed organic chemistry in 2 months instead of 9? Scored highest on US Navy final electronics comprehensive exam--a veritable GRE in electrical engineering? Importantly, I did not go to college for job-training as is most common. Rather, I went to college to get an education as to the "meaning of life" which explains my progression from philosophy thru psychology, physiology, chemistry, physics before exploring business, economics, politics and morality. My opus magnum is Timism (long 'i' like time), the Periodic Table of Existence, aka the Morality of More Time. At this point you can formulate that I am an extreme psychotic, a candidate for the 4th Christ of Ypsilanti, or, one of the luckiest persons alive. As an undergraduate, I had an insight which potentially indicated that Einstein's leap forward was off-centered. As a whole, including the big E himself, physicists recognize that Einstein's thinking was a dead-end alley: Relativity could not have built an atom bomb. Anti-Einstein quantum mechanics built the bomb. Beyond 1905, Einstein was intellectually out of gas stalled in a car that fewer and fewer would buy and drive. Less than 1 in 10 physicists are relativists--the rest are QM's.The unification of relativity and quantum mechanics is the holy grail of physics to which timism may have the answer. Here's the rub which should offer you a great case study of delusional psychosis if I am wrong. And, I hope I am wrong. If I am wrong, a number of field prominent individuals were wrong whence much of my self-assuredness. With Google, one needs less and the less the direct peer review of field experts. With timism as a clutter cutter, I am a good concluder. When I realized the potential of timism, I committed myself to not sharing it unless it could be "of the people, by the people and for the people" unlike petroleum and fission. In other words, fame and fortune would not be derived from timism by me. In truth, those who seek fame end up with fewer and smaller truths as fame is a political corruption and castration of honest thinking. Toward this "humanity owns timism" I applied timism to analysis and reforms of democracy and capitalism as well as other areas. Among these other areas were three papers I wrote in 1982 that have great import today:
In March, 2007, I concluded that humanity has passed the tipping point on global warming: If we stopped burning all fossil fuels it does not matter. Mother Nature has become a self-sustaining erupting volcano of CO2 from higher altitudes and lattitudes unprecedented in the history of this planet. Never has the CO2, temperature, and, most importantly, the biomass been so out of wack on this planet--see Global Dying. In March 2007, I concluded that by 2010, there would be widespread food riots because of the CO2 increasingly destroying the foodchain. I was wrong. Food riots occurred in 30% of the countries in 2008--last year, not next year. I also concluded that the foodchain destruction would lead to the collapse of local, state, and national governments by 2012. Sadly, I think that I may have also been optimistic in this conclusion. The rapid rise in political upheavals, e.g., Darfur, Thailand, and Iran, are grounded in a collapsing infrastructure based on environmental disintegration. Here's a bigger rub based on a 2007 conclusion: I must share timism before I die in order to live longer. Otherwise, I would have had distribution of my opus magnum by the executor of my estate. In truth, I don't care for the "me me'ism" values that emote most people. Being a free, unrestricted nobody has been my goal. If I am successful in my launching of timism I will be known by and disturbed by too many funny mentalists, evilutionists, and doodoo digesters. The latter are the people who put together their views and values of the world based on their gut reactions. Some people, only a few, find it hard to believe that a person with my integrity of intellect and intelligence is not widely known. I have sought an optimal life with the maximum number of deserved happy moments. I am a minimalist and mentalist who sought and found the essence, economics or calculus of happiness. Based on comments by others, I have succeeded better than most: "You don't deserve to be so happy," or, "I don't like you because you are happy." Go figure. By replacing beautiful lies with ugly truths, I have had more beautiful swans than most people. I questioned and avoided the lies of life that led materialistic people to the self-enslavement of debt that requires them to work jobs they do not like ... if they can find a job. Where are you on the continuum of materialism to mentalism? If more of the former then the latter, the less likely you will see the pearls in this monologue. Most chilling is the conclusion that by 2015, 90% of humanity will be dead from the destruction of the foodchain and food distribution. By 2030, with the disappearance of the polar ice cap and massive continent-wide conflagration (see polar ice cap and burn, baby, burn), all life on earth will be gone with the water boiling off into the heliosphere. For a short while, the earth will look like a comet circling the sun with a tail of the disappearing lifewater. Then Mother Earth will be like its solar twin, Venus, 500 mph winds of 700 degree sulfur/CO2 gases. These caustic, sandblasting winds will rapidly scour the surface of any traces that we were once here. Could an VA appointment to talk about my sadness help me? Again, I won't be so sad if you can reverse the facts behind these broadly researched conclusions since 1982: 2000 articles reviewed, 100,000 miles traveled and 10,000 hours studied. Then I won't see family and friends suffering from the elephant in the room. Global warming? No, global dying. I don't need counsel on the personal and interpersonal issues that trouble most people for I don't have the those issues. Anyone who does not like and respect me is of no concern to me. Respectable people respect and like me because they fulfill the meaning of respect, that is, re-inspect me. To paraphrase Socrates' claim of greater wisdom wherein he said "he was smarter than most because he knew what he did not know," I express "I have greater sanity because I know my insanities" which includes wishing I owned a bordello to entertain myself to death. Another is the "to hell with it" when I find myself subject to illogical restrictions from people considering fewer factors in their decisions affecting my well-being. I have walked away from many opportunities because it required compromising my principles. Also, in some ways I have not grown up and at some times, I have an angry, bitter "Gollum" arguing with my better side. I have religiously observed the Socratic maxims of "Know thyself" and "The unquestioned life is not worth living." (This missive is written, in part, as an update as to whom I am for my own reflection. This is risky. The analyst who self-analyzes is analyzing a fool for a patient.) The primary moral imperative is saving life on earth. Toward this long-held goal, I have been developing the tools of timism to promote better democracy and better capitalism. By better organizing humanity to tap the intelligence of those who live with the problems, and rewarding accordingly, we can hope to reverse global dying. Each of us living with the problems have our "Einstein" moments in which we understand the problem solution better than the habitual politicians who do not live with the problems. While you cannot change the facts behind my sadness you can help me be more productive in bringing to fruition the tools of timism. While many say I am in great shape for my age of 59 and my mind is still better than most of my peers, I am not the cerebral speedster of my peak when most of the tools were envisioned and cogitated. Genetically, my siblings and I are narcoleptic insomniacs. One of the reasons I matriculated UG so quickly was that I normally, even now, only need five hours of sleep which gives me a day that is three hours longer than the average person, a workday of eleven, not eight hours--almost 50% greater. Unfortunately, the aging process has slowed down my mental skills whereby I can juggle several inter-related dynamic elements without losing track of where I am at. In a very real sense, raw intelligence is based on one's Rate of Integration: How much info one can manage at one time, aka, one's dynamic density. Nature is a priori to nurture. A dead body or fetus in a library is witless. An Einstein in a casket is no dummy. While I don't have problems integrating semantic concepts (because of some self-designed, pre-google intellectual tools), I can't do computer programming in fifteen, eighteen or thirty-six hour bursts as I did in my prime. Now I burnout after a few hours or less. The more I try to juggle, the sooner I burnout and fall asleep. I avoid driving after I have been working since I find myself falling asleep with a sixty-second warning of a distinct yarn. Besides having several tools to "google" my intellectual efforts, I have everything I've written, noted, or read since 1979 in a digital form. My first personal computer in 1979 cost $6000 and still works but is valuable only as a doorstop or boat anchor. One pre-google computer tool creates 24 perspectives on an entered concept from my intellectual scatalogical recordings. It is amazing how much one forgets on a topic unless one has methodically and consistently recorded one's readings and musings. How can you help me? I fall asleep as I am trying to finish integrating the computer programs needed to promote the primary moral imperative, that is, saving life on earth. I need to stay awake longer so I can juggle several thoughts longer. I need a prescription for methylphenidate which I can take Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. Based on prior experience--a private physician's prescription in the 1990's who has since died--this will keep me awake better so that I can keep more dynamic elements floating on my cortex so as to tie them together. My selection of Ritalin--better for my narcolepsy than modafinil--is based not only prior use but on my graduate training in the neurosciences. It was in graduate school where I hobbied on CO2 research that later prompted the realization of CO2 broad and devastating effects on precipitation and life--see Alpha Trifecta: ADHD, Autism and Alzheimer. Please, don't suggest an SSRI. I don't want to ignore my well-rooted worthy worries. I have seen too many critically thinking Democrats become kumbaya pollyanna'd Republicans after taking these chemical lobotomies. Contributing to global dying is the global dumbing of zoloft zombies and prozac pudendas. (Timism explains the "bipolar" SSRI results--some takers happy and some takers suicidal.) More than likely you will chose the course of the church officials asked by Gallieo to look for themselves at the telescope, the conspiracy of disbelief and ignorance, to wit, "I don't believe and therefore will ignore experiences that will confront my comfort zone." Shakespeare was half right when he said that ignorance is bliss. In truth, ignorance is bliss till the ignored problems blitz your freedom and happiness. No matter how fast one runs, one cannot outrun one's problems. This is true for humanity and life on earth. We are in an existential meltdown wherein all of our time-creating problem-solving institutions are failing faster in the face of increasing time-wasting problems. Humanity's running faster from our problems brings us faster and closer to the abyss from out of which there is no lifeline. Kinda depressing and sad. If you cannot or willnot professionally assist me in this self-diagnosis and treatment, can you suggest a private physician outside of the Veterans Administration that would be interested in helping me. Ideally, a physician who is research oriented rather than a 9-5 paycheck chaser. One benefit would be first knowledge of the applications of timism at the level of mentality--see Meterological Mentality (If you inflated the convoluted cortex into a sphere and slowed down a recording of the neural activity, you would find that it parallels the meterological weather patterns of Mother Earth, with more than mere coincidences to terms common to both dynamic systems, e.g., highs and lows. My understanding of the periodic table of existence has been instrumental in seeing the self-similarity of all dynamic system based on the quantification/qualification of time therein, an understanding that imbues the tools of timism with a fundamental unity lacking in the piecemeal patchworks of bandaids that are falsely called economic and political reform.) More importantly, my survival problem is your problem. If I am right in my conclusion of global dying and right in my development of timistic tools, then you have a personal interest in my succeeding. Otherwise, like me, start doing the things you wanted to do in ten or twenty years because you only have a few remaining years of freedom from social, economic and political collapse. Again, I hope I am wrong. I wish you could tell me to get on my meds and all my weird worries would go away. I wish it was a movie so I could get up and leave. If you can help me, I will be available for evaluation and feedback, e.g., bi-weekly VA lunch for your concerns and curiosities. Luckily, I live only a short walk from the VA, a few houses back from coffee shop by Forest Hill Park. At such time you can determine if I am merely using the ritalin to recreate rather than create. In other words, are my alterring the endogenous chemistry fostering false or needed reality? A funny thing is that I can do more for you and yours than you can do for me and mine. LOL. If you cannot or willnot professionally assist me, please mail back the envelope containing the first pages of the referenced writings. Then I must seek street assistance in staying awake by finding a source of an illegal CNS stimulant. Sincerely,
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