Most of my friends initially disliked me before realizing that I am naturally, not intentionally, a horses' behind. As one should not discriminate against a person who is naturally handicapped, my friends don't discriminate against me because I am a natural horses' behind. A new acquaintance said that, in size, I rival the Grand Canyon as a horse's behind. A good, long-standing friend said that this acquaintance does not know me, for to find a horse's behind as big as me, you would have to empty the Pacific Ocean.

One time, a new chocolate employee (after a few days of critical review of his work) blurted out, "You're a racist." Standing a few feet away, another long-employed chocholate employee came to my defense by saying, "No, Bob, isn't a racist. He is an asshole at times."

In a competition of whose the biggest horses behind, e.g., arguments, most people are assholes on the scale of the crack of dawn on a overcast morning. It is akin to pissing contest wherein a pissant tries pissing upstream to stem the flow of a pississippi river.