Thirty-three(33) postcars were mailed with five (5) not being received, a
15% failure rate on the part of the Post Office.
Day 1 0700410 Miles 873
 |
Chicago
 |
Where's Bob? |
| Day 2 070411 |
Day 3 070412 Miles 2205
 |
Albuquerque
 |
Looking broad mesas and high buttes of New Mexico made me think this
card a propos. |
Day 4 070413 Miles 4072
 |
Hollywood ... Los Angeles
 |
The stars out here pail in comparison to the full moons back home. |
| Day 5 |
Day 6 070415 Miles 5513
 |
Vancouver
 |
Gee Whiz? Looks like you all were up here before me and posed for
a picture. |
Day 7 070416 Miles 6253
 |
Jasper
 |
Damn! Can't get a tan on a train to be a chocolate man!
 |
Day 8 070417 Miles 6973
 |
Winnipeg
 |
For you gals: Too many guys, too little time. |
Day 9 070418 Miles 8393
 |
Toronto
 |
B-4 U get your rail legs you wobble like a drunken. Back on terra firma,
the land seems to sway like a minor earthquake. |
Day 10 070419 Miles 8893
 |
Montreal
 |
T'is colder here, and the cold stare of the little fella makes me want
to leave soon. Like you, he has my number but he will not laff at my bad
jokes. He'll just bury me like any other nut. |
Day 11 070420 Miles 9063
 |
Montreal
 |
Montreal is a chicken and egg joke: Which came first? Cold weather or
cold people? I've met more cold-shouldered people in Montreal than in all
of Canada. |
Day 12 070421 Miles 9712
 |
Gaspe
 |
Gaspe will make you gasp. Ocean, surf, mountains, cliffs, deer, moose
and tranquility. |
| Day 13 070422 Schenectady, NY (post card
not received) |
|
Day 14 070423 Miles 11183
 |
Chicago
 |
Hustle and bustle, people going by in a tussel.
Where did all the crowds in Richmond go?
To the sidewalks of Chica go! |
Day 15 070415 Miles 12256
 |
Washington, DC
 |
I thought I had a monopoly on bad jokes till I came here. I am an
amateur. |
Day 16 070525 Miles 13420
 |
Miami
 |
Miami: Sunrise, Sunset, South Beach is hard to beat. Never forget the
first time I saw a deformed person lying on the beach--"Bob, not polite to
stare" I said as I quickly averted my eyes. At the 3rd deformity I realized
that it was a topless beach of ladies lying on their backs. |
Day 17 070426 Miles, Amtrak Map Magic-Markered,
1st Half
 |
| My highly functional geek vest and bush
hat often prompts, "Hey, Crocodile Dundee" to which
I respond, "No, crack a joke yankee." |
geekvest |
Hat |
|
Day 18 070427 Miles 15756
 |
Chicago
 |
What do Chicagoans and Amtrakers have in common?
Chicago: Vote early and vote often
Amtrak: Be late early and be late often |
Day 18 070427 Miles 16794
 |
Denver
 |
Ride a rocking passenger train to:
-
Walk like a drunken sailer.
-
Write like a practicing dentist.
-
Both of the above.
|
| Day 19 070428 Reno (Postcard not received) |
What happens in Las Vegas, stays in Las Vegas.
What begins elsewhere ends in Reno. |
Day 20 070429 Miles 18023
 |
San Francisco
 |
Heard too often on a train and elsewhere:
You know what I mean?
What I think but do not express:
No, failure on your part to get an education does not constitute a
responsibility on my part to think for you. |
| Day 21 |
|
Day 22 070501 Miles 18846
 |
Oregon
 |
"When I first saw you, I thought you would be a problem," said the conductor.
"But after watching you for five minutes, I realized you were eccentric as
hell!" |
Day 23 070502 Miles 19,999
 |
Middle of Nowhere
 |
"Middle of Nowhere" Widing the wells weminds me of my severe childhood
speech impediment when, like "R"-missing Elmer Fudd, I said the little wed
wabbit went wunning acwoss the wellwoad twack. Early on I learned to say
woman's pocketbook instead of woman's purse. |
Day 24 070503 Miles 20928
 |
Chicago
 |
Wanting to be more than an absentee husband with bad jokes, I decided
to be Cathy's alarm clock by calling at 4:59am, a minute earlier than her
ding-ding. What did she say? "Bob, thx, but it's Sunday morning." |
| Day 25 070504 Little Rock, Arkansas |
Universal Remote Dog Trainer: Most men are born dogs. Whether we go to
a dog show or a dog pound depends on how well you gals housebreak us. Good
luck! bob (Bill Clinton Special Card) |
| Day 26 |
Day 27 070506 Miles 22408
 |
San Antonio
 |
And, what are these young lasses, who are divorcees, singing in the land
of the Alamo where Texas independence was fought?
Remember the alimony. |
Day 27 070506 Miles 22483
 |
New Orleans
 |
'Riding on the City of New Orleans. Illinois Central Railroad #9" is
as far as I got before being threatened with ejection if I kept singing. |
| Day 28 |
Atlanta (Card not mailed back) |
Nice Car. Atlanta |
Day 29 070508 Miles 24096
 |
Boston
 |
At first I thot these people liked punishing words with puns ... like
me. Then I realized they just had accents ... like me. |
Day 29 070508 Miles 23865
 |
New York City
 |
New York is a city that never sleeps except for a tired traveler
who is beginning to long for the end. But tomorrow will be a new
joyful day. |
Day 30 070409 Miles 24512
 |
Baltimore, Breakfast
 |
Tick, tick, tick.
After Baltimore, no more days, just hours away to home to stay. |
Day 30 070409 Miles 24814
 |
Lancaster, Lunch
 |
Anyone who thinks the Amish are somber and straight-laced need only look
at the double-entendres of this post card. |
Day 30 070509 Miles 24606
 |
Philidelphia, Coffee
 |
Sometimes a joke is not appropriate. |
Day 30 070510 Miles 25058
 |
Richmond, VA
 |
That's all folks. |
Day 17 070426 Miles, Amtrak Map Magic-Markered, 1st Half
|
Day 17 070510 Miles, Amtrak Map Magic-Markered, 2nd Half
 |
|
Combined Map of
both halves
 |
|
|
