Mothers, Beware.
Throughout my informational pages is a thread of "I don't like my mother." It's public and private. I don't see her. I probably will not go her funeral. Does she deserve this private and public rejection? Well, she didn't put time into being a good mother. I left home at age eight because I thought she was going to kill me or I would have to kill her.
As a rule, mothers get what they deserve. Mothers who prefer to work so that each kid can have their own bedroom in a bigger house are not as good as the mothers who stay home and have the additional chore of resolving conflicts between offspring sharing a common room. Which children come out ahead? Which children learn conflict resolution? Which society has the solid bedrock of future well-being? Of all the things I will recall of Jackie Kennedy Onassis, her comment of motherhood stands out: "If you fail at being a mother then nothing else matters." This is akin to how if schools do not teach the work ethic first and foremost then all other learning is wasted.
Unfortunately, for America, we have fallen into an economic trap that is creating an existential meltdown. There is less and less time for parents to be parents. There is less time to pass on the values that make great members of family and society. Fortunately, if better democracy and capitalism bring about a shorter workweek via RU424N4, parents will have more and more time to be parents. And, society has a right and responsibility to require parents to be parents.
Being a victim of motherhood abandonment--or, as a cousin said, being emotionally orphaned--I have no respect or sorrow for women who are biological birth mothers that fail as social mothers. Let them suffer children who hate them, for they deserve it. Let them feel the pain of existence and rejection which they visited upon their offspring each hour they spent outside the home in pursuit of false values. When their children abandon them, let these abandoning parents play with the junk in the garages, basements and attics which they thought necessitated their work outside the home. When all alone, because they never built the bonds of love and respect, call up the apologists who say women have a right to work when children need them. Is it really a right when it causes so much wrong?
For many mothers, it is too late to put the time into being a good mother. It is for mine ... if she could do it. Between the time benefits of better democracy and capitalism, parents will have more time to produce better members of family and society. As a member of society who has to suffer the monetary and mental cost of others' failed parenthood, I am a strong proponent of "If the child does the crime let the parent do the time."
When parents pay the cost for failed parenting--instead of taxpayers as surrogate parents--then people will delay parenting until they are more ready for the job and challenges. Parenting is a job. Prospective parents need to be told: "Either you can put the initial time into raising your children to be self-responsible people or you can lose later time paying the cost of responding to the damage of your child to society."
Why should innocent bystanders pay the cost? Why should bad parents be let off with self-pitying cries of "I did my best." No, I've seen too many of that rare, disappearing breed, good parents. And, I don't begrudge the child who hates parents who were not there because the parents were self-indulging.
Through better democracy and capitalism, people will have more time to be good parents without the fear of no job or no retirement. While society shouldn't tell parents how to parent--imagine a parenting license like a drivers license--society can and must punish parents who fail at parenting. For those persons who choose not to use this time to be good social, mental and emotional parents, as a matter of our self-responsibility, let us pass laws to require parents to do the time for their children's crime.
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